Recently, we turned Emma's crib to a toddler bed due to the fact that she had learned the skill of climbing in and out of Kaelyn's crib, and being an overly paranoid mom (maybe it's normal?), I asked Matt to make the change to prevent any potential injuries that could be caused if Emma tried this new skill out in her crib without an adult around.
Ever since this new change, Emma has been unwilling to sleep in her own bed. We are not sure if this is due to being afraid of the dark suddenly, and coincidentally, or if she has an issue with the toddler bed vs her crib, or if she is just going through a "toddler" phase or what. All we know, is when she was in her crib, bed time was a nightly ritual of "Good night sweet girl. Sweet dreams. Mommy loves you to the moon and back" followed up by blowing kisses as I walk out of her room and close her door. Very peaceful and easy.
Now, the last couple of weeks, Matt and I alternate sleeping on her floor until she falls asleep in her bed. Some nights, once she is asleep we will sneak out and go to our bed, other nights we just stay put and hope she sleeps the night through. Every night though, she has made it clear that she will not stay in her bed, alone, and therefore, will not fall asleep, alone. We have considered re-doing her room decor, adding different lighting affects, buying her a bed tent, etc... Anything to make her excited about sleeping in her room. For now, we thought it might work to just get her used to the new bed by sacrificing our own comfort and sleep, temporarily.
Needless to say, this has resulted in exhausted parents desperate for their own bed. Not only that, but when the kids are asleep, chores can get done that are otherwise neglected while the kids are at play. So last night, we let Emma fall asleep in our bed so I
could get some things done around the house. This was about 8:15. First,
though, she helped us hang up some laundry ;)
About 9:30, I decided I would turn in. She was fast asleep.
I picked her up and carried her to her bed. She slightly woke up, realized she was
being transported, but it didn’t seem to phase her. In previous attempts at this, she would wake and demand we stay in her room with her, or she would follow us back to our room to sleep with us. This time, I lay her in her bed and she stays asleep. I stare at her for a few minutes to gauge if I was truly “free”
to leave!? Sure enough, I tip toe out of her room, and proceed to lay in my
comfy cozy bed whom I have missed so much! I lay there for about 30 minutes to
hear out for her little foot steps running into our room. Nope, she stayed
asleep.
1am rolls around. Still no sound or sight of her. I can’t
help but get up and check her bed. She’s good. Sprawled out and in a deep
sleep. Cool!! I go back to bed with a new glimmer of hope.
Now, I keep telling Matt that her “magic hour” is 3am. Every
night, no fail, if she is sleeping alone, she finds us in the 3am hour. If either one of us is in her room on the floor, she wakes to check that we are still there, in the 3am hour.
Last night was no exception. 3:18am, I hear little Emma footsteps. I lay there
waiting for her little face to stand before mine and hear her say “mama” in her
“I’m too cute to turn down” tone as she is not-so-subtly insinuating she wants
to join us in our bed. But, no sign. Footsteps had stopped, but I still hadn’t
seen her or heard her little voice. I roll over to look at the end of the bed.
Not there. I look over the bed, and where we leave a body pillow (the one we had her use the night before if she insisted on sleeping in mommy and daddy’s
room), there she is, with her blanket in hand. She is laying her head down, and
pulling her blanket over her tiny body, essentially tucking herself in… on our
floor. As independent as ever, she put herself to sleep with no fuss and no
interruption to us (with the exception of nosy mommy and amused daddy).
Matt and I chuckle, but leave her be. I roll over with a smile on my face and a melted heart… to
me, it was one of the sweetest moments I have experienced as a mom. I then
proceed to follow suit, close my eyes and finish my night’s rest. The first
night’s rest in a week and a half.
Then it happens. In the monitor… I hear a flashback of early
infancy… Kaelyn is crying! I run to her room to check on her. She seems fine,
no fever, room not too hot, not too cold. But she has real tears down her face!
I cradle her, she sucks her thumb and seems to fall back to sleep…until I lay
her in her crib. Tears again! Now, we have, for the first night, our toddler
willingly sleeping on our floor instead of in our bed after many nights of
“sleep training” her, telling her she can’t sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed, and
using sissy as an example; “Sissy sleeps in her bed”…the LAST thing I can do is
bring Kaelyn into the bed with me!! So, to the couch I go, with a baby who
wants nothing to do with sleep, and everything to do with babbling.
One day, soon I hope, I will know what sleep feels like
again. ;) In the meantime, I will cherish these oh-so-sweet moments. 3:30 in the morning is not necessarily my favorite hour to have quality time with the kiddos, but when Kaelyn's sweet face is smiling at you, and her voice babbling along, it's tough not to soak it in.
I found out this morning, that as I was tending to Kaelyn, Emma had reached for daddy's hand, and held it as she fell back to sleep.
I don't think there is a bed large enough to accommodate Emma's sleep space habits... it seems she grows 10 feet tall at night; how else could such a small being consume so much space on a large bed, inevitably pushing two adults off!? Otherwise, I'd buy it and have both girls sleep with us... Maybe I'll just make a bed on the floor for all four of us to share! ;)
For now, Starbucks better stay in business... this mommy can't function without it!
